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Breaking The Cycle (32)

There’s no doubt about it: we live in an angry society. Signs that anger abounds are all over the place. There is desk rage, road rage, domestic violence, spousal abuse, child abuse, sports rage and most recently spam rage. Anger is a worldwide phenomenon and referrals to anger management programs have exploded since 9/11.

After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled into his driveway. The children’s toys were scattered on the walkway to the house.
He immediately began noticing slight tension in his muscles and apprehension in his stomach.

Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son how to fly a radio-controlled airplane. As the airplane was taking off, Jim instructed his son to push the control stick on the radio to the right. He did and the airplane turned to the right.

Dateline: January 4th. Orange County Anger Management class participants review anger triggers of the week.

Jane, age 23, engaged to be married: “My boyfriend openly flirts with other women in front of me.”

Jim, age 40, an IT professional: “a work group back East didn’t finish their project on time, which made our progress look bad – I blew up!”

Every Holiday season Vicki found herself angry and silently seething at her older sister, Susie, and mother as they were merrily chatting about Susie’s successful life.

Eilizabeth, 32, cried during anger management class as she told how one year ago - her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of a medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered.

Think of your brain as a juke box where most of your records – your reactions to different situations – were recorded well before your reached adolescence. Then, as life goes on and every time someone pushes your button, you automatically play the record that fits each situation.

Self Help is itself a broad category from which to choose resources for your personal benefit. It is wise to assess yourself first, in terms of "needs" and/or "problems" to be solved. Because as you work through this process you will find that more than one Online Resource may fit the bill. Then you are in the unsavory position of having to test a number of things to see what works best.

"Know Yourself" That's what the big guy said way back when? Was it Aristotle, Plato or Socrates? Anyhow, that's the essence of what this article is about.

You are a "self-help" seeker and user. You want resources to advance yourself in your life, to feel better, stronger and more successful. You're not satisfied with how things are. And you're not complacent about it. You're motivated. Therefore, you've come to the right place.

Losing a child is one of life's biggest tragedies. All that promise, all those hopes, all those possibilities for a bright and successful future disappear in an instant. Whether you've lost a young child or a young adult child, the feeling of loss cuts deep.

Losing a parent is something we all have to face at some point in our lives. At a young age this is particularly difficult, so we rely on adults to show us how to grieve. Sadly, most adults are poor models of the grieving process as a whole.

Losing a spouse is a devastating experience. Our friend, our partner, our soul mate is now gone and we are lost. It feels as if a part of us has died as well. In my practice, helping individuals deal with the loss of their partner was a common occurrence. Young or old, surviving spouses had an equally difficult time adjusting to this reality.

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